sometimes you feel like a nut...
One of the funny things about being human is the fact that sometimes...
we get some pretty crazy thoughts running through our heads.
Thoughts that appear to come out of nowhere.
Thoughts that appear to create chaos, if acted upon.
Thoughtsthat appear to be the antithesis of who we think we are.
I introduced this idea to one of my clients the other day and recounted one of the craziest thoughts I had ever had...but fortunately had not acted upon.
It was the year 2003 in New York City.
At the time, I assisted a friend who was a music contractor. That year, she was contracted to the Grammy Awards Show at Madison Square Garden.
As a music fan, I was beyond excited to be able to attend, much less play a small part, in the running of this iconic show.
I was given an all access pass and as a result...
attended all of the rehearsals and sound checks...
traversed the backstage area at will...
stood on stage while Bruce Springsteen warmed up...
assisted Norah Jones with some personal affects...
watched as James Taylor schooled younger musicians with his mere presence...
all while doing the job I was assigned.
What a privilege.
The night of thelive televised show...I had finished my work and was able to sit and enjoy what remained of the show. I remember looking down and seeing Robin Williams and Aretha Franklin engage in a little exchange during a commercial break...Robin was exactly as you would imagine him to be.
And then the countdown began...
the countdown to going live following the commercial break.
That's when it happened.
A whole bunch of crazy crazy thoughts.
Thoughts that sounded something like this:
"Lana...you are literally 5 steps from the stage. This show is live. Why don't you just run on stage and wave to your girls in the camera? You might even want to say, "Hey girls, look where Mommy is!"
Where the heck did those thoughts come from?
All I know is that I felt like I had mischievous little devils on my shoulder egging me on.
I literally had to hold onto my seat to make sure I didn't follow through with their suggestions.
Like...white knuckling it...literally.
And so...that night as I sat there holding on, I waited for something to change.
I knew that if I held on long enough, something would change.
And as I held on...
new thoughts emerged.
Thoughts born of clarity and calm...rather than of chaos and crazy.
With these new thoughts, I was able to relax and enjoy the show safe in the knowledge that I was no longer tempted to 'rush the stage.'
It's amazing how thoughts can take hold of us...
how they can appear to be speaking a truth that we have no choice but to believe and act upon.
But thoughts are just that.
We don't have to believe any of them.
Especially not the crazy ones.
So on those days when the crazy emerges...
and let it pass.
New thought will emerge.
It always does.
That is the nature of thought.
as humans, we will sometimes
feel like a nut.
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