ResistAnce
Photo courtesy of Fernando Jorge
Many years ago I experienced a terrible bout of Vertigo. If you've never experienced it before, count yourself lucky. It can be truly debilitating and frightening.
Only a short while ago, I experienced a recurrence of this condition and went to the doctor to see if there was anything new that they'd discovered that could help with this situation or at the very least the duration of the episodes. The doctor proceeded to tell me something that, on its surface, appeared to be absolutely counter-intuitive.
He advised me to encourage a state of Vertigo by swinging my head upside down and side to side. Needless to say, I was shocked by such a suggestion as even the mere thought of inducing Vertigo created a queasy feeling within my system.
Up until that point, I had been calculatingly careful in the placement of my head...keeping it perfectly still and steady so as not to inadvertently trigger an 'episode'.
What I realized, however, was that in all of my efforts to ward off the Vertigo, I had unwittingly created even more tension and resistance within my body, which, ultimately resulted in an even bigger reaction once the Vertigo hit.
By inviting the Vertigo rather than resisting it, I was, in effect, working with my system and allowing it to do what it needed to do to self-correct. My well-intentioned efforts at control had unwittingly done the opposite.
So it is with our emotions. Often in resisting what we don't want to experience or what we fear experiencing, we inadvertently create an even bigger 'monster' that persists precisely because we are reanimating it over and over again in our minds through our focus and attention.
For example, one of my clients who is currently single is terrified that she will never find a partner. In fact, when she thinks of her future, she imagines herself to be a lonely spinster. Her emotional suffering comes about because she is not only resisting ‘what is’ (being single) but also the future that she imagines for herself (remaining single).
So what could we consider when we find ourselves suffering from emotions or experiences that we don’t desire and are therefore resisting?
We could…
recognize the wisdom in the axiom: “What resists, persists”.
develop a healthy relationship with reality; we may not always like ‘what is’ but it is our resistance to it that creates our suffering.
realize that ruminating on thoughts that keep us feeling down doesn’t allow for those thoughts and feelings to move through us as they are designed to do.
insightfully recognize that we are capable of handling anything; even those emotions and experiences that we don’t desire.
understand that a mind free of resistance is far more powerfully and effectively used than a mind full of tension.
notice how being in a good feeling supports a good and grateful life.
trust that everything will be ok even if we can’t see it in the moment.