Can you hear what I hear?

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In so many ways, having to quarantine all these months has been the gift that no one asked for.

For my family, it has given us the opportunity to once again become a small self-contained unit of four (plus two pups). In fact, I never imagined a time when the four of us would again be living under the same roof, let alone for months at a time.

Being in each other’s presence 24/7 has allowed us to reminisce, laugh, and create new memories. But, more importantly, it has allowed us the opportunity to uncover and reaffirm the love we have for each other even and especially in the face of old hurts, grievances, and misunderstandings.

As a parent, it has, at times, been jarring to hear how your child interpreted some of your words, actions, and decisions.

And bless all those parents out there who are doing the best they can. Lord knows, it is not an easy job. Nor is it to be a child.

So, here’s the thing I realized as I embarked on some of these raw and honest conversations: the ego has no place in these sharings since the ego can be an impediment to real intimacy, trust, and connection.

What I realized was that MAGIC happens when I no longer feel the need to justify or explain or even defend myself. Without that need, I was able to simply listen…I mean…really listen…like…listen without anything on my mind - no agenda, no quick retort, no deflection, no nothing. By doing so, I could be present with an open heart and an open mind, and genuine curiosity. And that openness and curiosity was the gateway to seeing and hearing and feeling my child’s world and her pain.

And with that insight, suddenly it all made sense and a flood of love and compassion for her and for myself and for us began the work of healing an old misunderstood wound.

Relationships are challenging because they are a mirror to where we feel limited or vulnerable or insecure within ourselves.

And that is the blessing and the curse…but mostly, the blessing.

Within each relationship is the opportunity for even greater self-awareness.

And those triggers we feel? Especially from those, we love most? Yeah, those little gems are actually an invitation to see where we are not yet at peace within ourselves.

And what a gift is that.


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Early Bird pricing ends February 15th. The workshop begins on February 18th.

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Lana Bastianutti