jesus...take the wheel

I had one of those days last week that...well...puts you in a bit of a tailspin.

It was a combination of events and circumstances both personal and worldwide that seemed to come to a head...and then literally stayed in my head...

And swirled...

And boiled...

And bubbled...

until they created a righteous stew of fear and frustration and exhaustion and overwhelm.

Yup.

It was just one of those days.

I couldn't seem to swim my thoughts to shore...

or even grab onto a life preserver to save myself from mental and emotional exhaustion...

so...

I decided to just float there for a while...

on my back...

belly up...

exposed...

and vulnerable.

As a coach, I know all of the ways to pull myself out of my mood...but last week I seemingly didn't want to... 

I craved the time and space to wallow for a while

and not change my state or my focus or my physiology...

I knew what I was doing.

I owned it.

I was feeling some pretty lousy feelings and thinking some pretty lousy thoughts...

and as a result...

I was literally feeling my thinking.

As much as I felt uncomfortable, though, I didn't want to

deny my feelings

or shift them

or numb them

or override them.

I didn't have the energy or true desire to do anything other thanbe with them.

And so I did. 

For a good long while. 

And then the inevitable happened... 

my sense of humor rallied her resources

and suddenly...

out of the blue of my thoughts...

I heard the internal twang of a southern sounding exasperated voice declare,

Jesus...take the wheel.

Now, I'm not really a Jesus take the wheel kind of gal...but for me that expression is code for...

have a little faith.

It's my reminder that all will be well again...

given time...

given my right mind...

and

given a new mood.

It just takes some time

sometimes...

and a little faith

that within all of us is our own innate wellbeing.

And so, the next morning I woke to some new thoughts

and some new feelings...

because once again

I was feeling my thinking...

and this thinking was clear and fresh and whole and full of faith

in myself

and my own natural wellbeing.

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