I don't wanna

What to do when conditions are not ideal.

Photo courtesy of Vance Osterhout

Photo courtesy of Vance Osterhout

Oi.

Do you ever feel like you just wanna have a silly mini rebellion when conditions are not ideal or how you would like them to be?

Yeah.

I'm having one right now.

I set aside the morning to write...but alas, I have found everything to do BUT write.

I tell myself that I'm not ready to write.

I tell myself that I'll know what to write when the time is right.

I seem to tell myself a lot of things, actually.

Bottom line...I have this tiny itty bitty belief that says, 'in order to write, you have to feel inspired.'

What to do?

What to do?

I could indulge this belief and gather all of the evidence to justify its existence.

But where would that get me at this time?

Nowhere.

Stuck.

Stationary.

Frustrated with myself and my thinking.

I could also forage through my memories and gather some evidence to counter this belief.

Hmmmm...

Having nothing better to do...let's go with that.

The first memory I come upon is one that occurred this summer.

It was one of those awful swelteringly hot days. The kind that has you sweating without exertion.

Unfortunately for me, our dog Ella needed to go for a walk. As I dutifully ventured out the door, leash in hand, I thought to myself, "Good Lord, it's hot!!!"

Walking at a snail's pace I began to notice, with increasing irritation, how unbelievably unbearably scorchingly hot and uncomfortable I was (are you noticing a theme here?)

The more I thought about it, the more uncomfortable I became.

My mind began to wander into the territory of the dramatic and delirious as I exclaimed to Ella, "OMG. I am going to die in this heat. Is that a mirage I see?????"

Praying that she would efficiently execute her duty (no such luck), my mind remained permanently stuck in its misery.

That's when I noticed them.

Kids.

Half a dozen of them.

Riding their bikes and scooters and skateboards. Helmets on, hair dripping with sweat, cheeks flushed with the heat of the day and the exertion of their bodies...SMILING and LAUGHING and YELLING with LIFE.

Talk about a slap in the face. 

How could this be?

How could they be having so much fun on this ridiculously HOT day?

It's like they didn't even care how hot it was!!!!

To me, the heat was an obstacle to my enjoyment.

To them, it was nary a thought.

The temperature of the day was just what it was.

They accepted it and left it at that.

It had no power over them or their fun.

Hmmm...

It was about that time that I noticed my mind no longer seemed obsessed with the heat of the day and my intolerance of it.

In fact, I seemed to be getting on with our walk without the same amount of resistance.

Granted, I may have looked like the walking dead, but at least my mind was no longer fixated on it. 

What does this have to do with my belief about feeling inspired in order to write?

Thinking that I need to be inspired to write is simply a constructed obstacle that I created in my mind.

Thinking that the weather needs to be a certain temperature for me to enjoy my walk with Ella is another constructed obstacle I made up.

Do I have preferences?

You bet I do.

I'd much rather be inspired when I write

and

I'd much rather be cool (both figuratively and literally) when I walk (haha).

Neither, however, is a true impediment to me writing or enjoying my walk.

I only think it is.

Arguing with what is, in the moment, serves no one.

Certainly not me when I write and certainly not me (or my dog) when I walk. 

Funny thing is, the more I become present in the moment and allow what is to just be...the more inspired I've become. 

Once I let go of how I think things should be, I am free to just create with what is.

Now, that's inspired!!  ;))