During these summer months, I have taken a couple of weeks off writing.
As a result, I am feeling a tad bit rusty and, if truth be told, quite a bit of trepidation as I resume my weekly practice of musings.
It seems as if my mind wishes to scold me for my absence by creating an all-consuming whirlwind of self-defeating thoughts:
"You have nothing more to say...give it up."
"Take another week off...chillax...maybe you'll get inspired next week."
"Shouldn't you be working on that project you keep talking about?"
and on and on.
In an effort to calm the contents of my mind, I busied myself with friends and family and research and reading and long term projects and coaching and cleaning and cooking and organizing...anything and everything to avoid that which I knew was looming like a large beast in the dark.
Today, however, is the end of the road, so to speak.
It is time to put this beast to bed.
My deadline is upon me.
And so, I once again sit down at my desk for the purpose of writing.
as soon as I sit, I find myself fussing and fidgeting and straightening and re-straightening piles of paper and notes and pens and pencils.
Once again I engage in a futile battle to distract my mind from its litany of self-defeating thoughts...
"give it up...you're not inspired"
"you have nothing to say'"
"you've definitely lost that lovin' feeling"
and on and on.
The spell was finally broken when my daughter came bounding down the stairs.
Quickly seizing upon a new distraction, I offered to prepare her a full English Breakfast.
How desperate was I???
A strange thing happened, however, as I puttered away in the kitchen, my daughter at my side.
Our conversation quickly turned to my wayward thoughts of earlier.
I confessed my doubt and my fear...
and then in a moment of vulnerability and transparency I asked...
"Do you think I can still do this? Write the blog?"
Without a moment's hesitation, my daughter turned and looked me straight in the eye...
"Of course you can. I have NO doubt."
Those were the words that had been lacking in my own mind.
Those were the words that I had sought and searched for in my desperate attempt at distraction.
Those were the words that instantly brought both solace and sanity.
Those sweet little words...
filled with love and trust and faith.
Sometimes we need to hear those words from those that love us most...
so that we may echo them back to ourselves...
so that we may recognize their truth and their power...
so that we may clear our heads and find our voice yet again.
I thank my daughter for saying what I yearned to hear.
And I thank myself for the wisdom in knowing just who to reach out to in my time of need.
And so, dear friends...in your time of need, I say to you, with love...
"You've got this. I have no doubt."