2 out of 3 ain't bad

I was a kid of the 70s.

There was good music and bad fashion  (while I did rock a pair of checkered pants, I never could get on board the flared pant with platform shoe phenomenon).

In any event, I remember the music most of all.

Back in the day, Meatloaf (the singer, not the food) was at the height of popularity. He had just come out with his album Bat out of Hell -  releasing one iconic song after another.

One such song was called 2 out of 3 ain't bad.

Let me just provide the chorus to give you some context for what I am about to write:

I want you

I need you.

But there ain't no way I'm ever going to love you

But don't be sad

Cause 2 out of 3 ain't bad.

Hearing these lyrics as a young girl I must have had some kind of esteem because as I listened I began to feel a simmering outrage - outrage at its condescension, presumption and assumption.

What???? I thought.

He wants her and needs her but he is never going to love her??

Erm...no thank you!

Why would she put up with this guy?

Why would she settle for 2 out of 3?

Fast forward all of these years and I still find the song unpalatable no matter how memorable the tune. And yet, as a life coach, I see clients settling and rationalizing and diminishing their sense of self while in a relationship. This seems particularly prevalent in women - as we often are the ones to try to please and conform within a relationship only to become resentful later on.

It is akin to losing yourself in your children. Placing their needs above your own. Sacrificing yourself and then feeling empty and alone and lost when they finally fly the coup. 

It is so important to be clear in who you are. What you value. Your sense of self before, during and after a relationship. If you have that clarity and stay strong in your sense of self, you will indeed know what to do if you hear the words:

I want you

I need you.

But there ain't no way I'm ever going to love you

But don't be sad

Cause 2 out of 3 ain't bad.