The Power of Forgiveness

I’ve been wanting to write about forgiveness for a while now. But most especially after I was struck by a scene in the musical Hamilton (pictured above) where Eliza offers Hamilton her forgiveness. At that moment, it is as if a huge weight has been lifted from Hamilton.

I wondered why.

I wondered at the power of forgiveness.

I wondered why we feel such relief when someone we love forgives us for something we know caused them emotional pain.

And yes, I know that we can’t directly cause another pain. And still. It happens. Because we are connected on a deeper more spiritual level - particularly when it comes to those whom we love the most.

So what is it about forgiveness? Why is there such power in it when extended to another (or even ourselves)?

I suspect it has to do with subtraction; forgiveness is the result of subtracting held-onto emotional pain.

Another way of saying this is that forgiveness is present when there is an absence of accumulated hurt.

When we hold onto the hurt we experience from another, we begin to see and interact with that person through a lens of hurt. It’s like we hold onto that pain as a way of protecting ourselves from future pain. We begin to hold back in the relationship. We become guarded and unsure. Unwilling to give all of ourselves. And, as a result, we resist the love that naturally flows through us.

So when I see the scene from Hamilton or I recount the times in my own life when forgiveness was present, I realize the gift and power of that forgiveness.

It allows for the relationship to begin anew without the constraints or baggage of accumulated hurts. It says; I let go of it all. I see you with fresh eyes. And my love flows freely once more.

And…there may also be times when we choose to forgive or are forgiven and still…the relationship ends. Whether it continues or ends, however, forgiveness is never wasted. It allows us to continue on unburdened by the heavy weight of past hurts.

And there is such freedom in that.