When our need to be right is wrong

How we suffer for our judgements

 
 

As human beings we have a quirky compelling desire and drive to make sense out of the things around us. 

We like to categorize.

We like things in nice neat packages that leave no room for interpretation.

We like to quantify things as either

good or bad...

ordered or chaotic...

black or white.

We don't seem to like messy or nuanced perspectives.

We want things clearly defined...

and, as a result,

we often rush to judge the things in our life:

Work is good.

The weather is bad.

The kids are good.

The state of the world is bad.

What we may fail to appreciate, however, is that life

-by its' very nature- 

exists in neither realm...

and both at the same time.

Life just is what it is...

both good and bad

and ordered and chaotic

and black and white,

simultaneously.

And sometimes it is only with the perspective of linear time that we truly understand and appreciate this seeming contradiction.

Which reminds me of a very old story that talks to our desire to judge and label without allowing time to breathe:

"A farmer and his son had a stallion who helped farm the fields. One day, the horse ran away.

Upon seeing this the neighbors exclaimed, "Your stallion ran away, what terrible fortune!"

To which the famer replied, "Maybe so.  Maybe nay. Time may tell."

The following day, the stallion returned bringing with it three beautiful mares.

Upon seeing this the neighbors exclaimed, "Your stallion has returned with more horses. What wonderful fortune!"

To which the farmer replied, "Maybe so. Maybe nay. Time may tell."

Later that day, the farmer's son was thrown from one of the new mares and broke his leg.

Upon seeing this the neighbors exclaimed, "Your son is injured. What terrible fortune!"

To which the famer replied, "Maybe so. Maybe nay. Time may tell."

The following day, the army came through the village and collected all able bodied young men to fight. They did not take the farmer's son due to his injuries.

Upon seeing this the neighbors exclaimed, "Your son was not taken by the army. What wonderful fortune!"

To which the farmer replied, "Maybe so. Maybe nay. Time may tell."

And so life goes...

we,

like the neighbors,

judge in the moment what perhaps we should let be to reveal in time.

In so doing, we begin to see life as the grand adventure that it is...twisting when we judge that it is turning, and turning when we judge that it is twisting.

xx Lana


COMING SOON

A Stand-alone version of our online course: “If I’m So Smart, Then Why Don’t I Feel More Confident?”

 
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And also, if you don’t have our book, “Women and Confidence; The Truth About The Lies We Tell Ourselves” you can grab a copy on Amazon:

 
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And finally, if you’d like some coaching support, don’t hesitate to reach out and let’s talk.

Lana Bastianutti